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Writer's pictureMariam

My small self makes me laugh out loud :-D ~About bargaining with God and the gift of problems



The Universe gives us problems so that we can become more of who we are in this level of creation Sometimes I get angry with God, in a very childish way. Can’t my guides see how hard I am working? Can’t they see how much I have given? Can’t God fix all these challenges for me? In hindsight (or in a moment of insight) this part of me makes me laugh so hard. It’s so funny to observe the small self, bargaining with God for magical solutions. But didn’t I choose to incarnate? Don’t I want to grow? If we want to become the stewards of a peaceful world, guardians and creators of the best possible future of humankind, wouldn’t it be logical we bump into problems so that we can grow and become the solutions? I love the infinite wisdom of the universe, the perfect challenges that molds us into more of what we already are. The Place of Eternal Forgiveness Last summer I had a beautiful and profound experience. Sitting in meditation, I suddenly felt a natural desire to forgive everything and everyone from this lifetime and past lifetimes. While I was enjoying the freedom and light of doing this, a feminine guide appeared before my spirit eye more clearly than I had ever seen before. I had met this woman once in an Akasha journey and recognized her as someone I knew deeply but had forgotten about. The reconnection was so beautiful, I cried while the memories about this teacher surfaced from ages and ages ago. She started to explain that after the persecutions of the inquisition, ‘I had fallen’ out of the place of Eternal Forgiveness where this teacher and the brothers and sisters of love and light reside. I felt that this place is what I had been longing for and had been missing so deeply all of my life. I was shown that my soul had not been able to stay in a state of ‘truth’ during the persecutions. And because I had perceived the horror of those events as the ultimate truth and not as a temporary experience that my eternal soul had, I had identified with the experience and tagged myself karmically to all the souls involved and the experience itself. She explained further that in the place of Eternal Forgiveness, forgiveness always IS because in truth nothing ever happens to who we truly are. In our ultimate state of truth, we are always whole and nothing can be done to us. The experiences of life only happen at the level of creation. No longer homesick for the stars


Now that I had forgiven all events and all souls involved, I was again reconnected with this dear and beloved guide and the place of Eternal Forgiveness. And now that I think of it, I do not feel homesick anymore, something I have felt for most of my life. I do not long to be somewhere else because what I had missed is here, within me. However, the fact that I feel more whole and complete does not mean that I do not have problems and challenges anymore. I just bring more of who I am to the table. To life. My question to you today is: are you willing to learn? Are you willing to appreciate your problems and grow through the experiences of life? From our soul’s perspective, we are exactly where we need to be, learning so many valuable lessons, becoming the full expression of who and what we truly are.



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